5 Quotes from Black Women On Self-Love.
There is so much to celebrate this month. During February we commemorate the accomplishments and countless contributions of Black people throughout history; this also happens to be a time in which we observe, Valentine’s day and celebrate love. I think it is no coincidence that these notions of Black history and love converge at this time. We are honoring a community of people who, for centuries, have been subject to senseless hatred and discrimination; and despite being constantly deemed “not good enough” or “lesser than,” we have maintained a prevailing belief that we are not only “good enough,” but exceptional. Defying the odds, Black people have become renowned contributors in their respective fields, arts, science, sports, and the list goes on; contributing to the collections of our society, through grit, faith, perseverance, and ultimately love. Love of oneself and love of one’s community. To honor this remarkable feat here are five quotes on self-love from five Black women who articulate the internal revolution and conviction of self-love.
1. Maya Angelou
“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”
2. Nayyirah Waheed from Nejma
“whether with a lover or none. i reek of love. i stink of love.”
3. Toni Morrison from Jazz
“Don’t ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn’t fall in love, I rose in it.”
4. Eartha Kitt
“It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.”
5. Bell Hooks from All About Love: New Visions
“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others. There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that. Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am. It is silly, isn’t it, that I would dream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was a moment when the maxim “You can never love anybody if you are unable to love yourself” made clear sense. And I add, “Do not expect to receive the love from someone else you do not give yourself.”
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This merely scratches the surface of Black history and barely raises the volume of Black female voices, but can serve as a place to begin. Hopefully, you can take these words of wisdom with you, carry them throughout the month, and throughout your life not only in admiration of Black culture but, in inspiration to appreciate yourself and those around you.
Call To Action
- Research these Black women listed above or read some of their work
- Explore Black history to find other writers and poets you may enjoy
- Practice self-love not only this month but every month
- Celebrate Black achievements all year round

–Jessica Couloute, Content Creator